I have been eating pretty clean and exercising/ running frequently for about the last two months and I’d like to share the changes I’ve experienced in myself :)…
1. Thicker, healthier hair and stronger nails!
2. Much more energy and wakening earlier!
3. Far better outlook on life (My depression…
Because why does a book keep love apart?
I wish there was a balance between the complete dumb-ass swag fag kids who get “turnt up” and the kids who just care about school.
Looks like i’m the odd one out…. again
Ugh fuck everything do you ever tend to feel like everything absolutely everything wrong and bad happens to you? Am I the only one who has some kind of fucked up karma and will never stop paying for it. No matter how hard I try I will never be good at the things I love doing. No matter how hard I try I cannot take back the terrible mistakes I made. I can blame everything the universe, my mother, but in the end I know it’s my fault and I cannot escape the fear that chases me down the hall, the fear that I am nothing but a failure
ive never had anyone ask me about my story before… i dont even know where to start, but i do know that i really appreciate you saying this to me. if its ok with you, i would like to send you bits and pieces of whats happened to me when the mood strikes me, is that ok? ill start with this: the first time i considered killing myself i was 8. ive suffered from panic attacks and extreme anxiety for the entirety of my life, nearly being hospitalized because i spent several months throwing up at least twice a day when i was eleven. i was surrounded by a gang growing up, fighting constantly from as early as 5 years old. but no one has ever believed i needed help. everyone has always thought i was ok. even when i was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder/type two bipolar disorder, and ptsd this past year the few people that know about it dont take it seriously. my mom actually tried to tell me it was a phase id grow out of… i guess this is just kind of an overview of things but yeah, like i said, ive never done this before and even anonymously i feel vulnerable writing this sooo feel free to ask any questions or whatever. and even if you dont have any questions, id love to hear your story, especially since ive shared some of mine with you
Anonymous asked: Hannah I never knew how much we had in common, like seriously i just read that post and it's exactly how i feel no one really knows what you're going through but in a way we're walking the same road well kinda, I've been cutting for 7 years we should talk it might make us both feel better? I feel like i can tell you some secrets that are eating me alive without you blabbing it around school. see you tomorrow?
who is this? haha
Anonymous asked you:
Anonymous asked: You are really an inspiration and I really wish that I could meet you <3 I feel like I can relate you to so much and stay strong beautiful!
Why can’t you meet me?
When coming to a positive medium in life, there is always one question we ask. It’s why, why am I doing this?
Yes, I’ve often been quite guilty of this, but I want you to understand why I think this way and why I want to change this! For too damn long I’ve seen too many people let desire control them, I’ve watched as it consumed me and ate my life.
A sadness overcomes many people; ordering them to give in to it’s wicked ways. We as a whole do not have to let this disease takeover our happiness, there are things that matter to all of us and those are the things we should be focusing on. The little things that we let take us down are like weights that were attached to so called “witches” legs, but without we can surpass the water that tries to enter and fill our lungs; killing us not!
The many things we love, hobbies, people, environment has a strong effect on our emotions its somehow always able to cheer us up. When I personally think of all the times I’ve been transfixed by my feelings, I always have that one moment of rational thinking; thinking of all I’ve accomplished and the things I’ve done. It’s paralleled to our happiness and gives us the meaning back to our lives which is often lost.
I know I may not be the best person to talk about being consumed in my desires, because I have been so many times, but that in itself is the reason why I care so much. I have been in that position so many times and once I was finally awakened I understood what it really meant to be happy. And happiness doesn’t pay off like you think it does, you don’t see effects immediately but once you learn, learn that things you’ve held on to need to be let go, then you will understand what it truly means to be. Thus, ending your suffering; allowing you to move on with your life, and your happiness.
Hello Hannah, I’m Brandon. I respect what your doing, it is quite an honorable cause. I’m glad to share my story with you and help you with your art and in whatever ways i can. I all started somewhere my freshman year of highschool. I was suppressing a lot of feelings and found a very unhealthy way to channel them. Thats when i started cutting. i was very unhappy and couldn’t find anyone to turn to. I still don’t really have anyone, but i digress, I cut to feel something everything just felt like it wasn’t worth it. Then drugs came in and made me fell something again besides cutting. It was good for awhile until one day i lost it. I tried to hang myself but i failed. i was sent to a mental ward thing. then drug rehad. none of it really help, i was given medication i didn’t need and went every week to rehab. then i was kicked out of my fathers house because wife saw what i did to my wrists. i moved in with my mum who shortly then moved to Florida. after living there with my grandparents for a few months i moved again to Massachusetts. No friends, nothing to do, i slept most of my highschool career at this point. until i dropped out. I since have moved back in with my dad and my anti mother. well to wrap things up i did get better but the whole in my heart has come back. i try to write poetry and short stories to take my mind off things. i never really gotten over everything. i still feel so alone and useless.
hannah schiff smoked salvia with her brother ben and trevor(me) and while we were all in the center of our minds third eye of a cosmic storm hannah chokes out “Siddhartha dont take my soul ahhh!!” and she was never the same again…
Anonymous asked you: